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The Physician Philosopher Podcast

TPP 37: How To Start Before You’re Ready (Getting “Unstuck”)

I receive emails and direct messages all the time on “how to get started” with x, y, or z.  Sometimes it is about how to build a personal finance curriculum.  Other times, it is how to get started with an online business (one of my favorite things to coach people on).  Still others, on how to get started with paying down debt, investing, or living an intentional life.

If you’ve ever wondered how you could get started on your next big project, idea, or goal… this episode is for you.

Today You’ll Learn

  • What prevents people from getting started (hint: it isn’t not knowing what to do).
  • The roll of limiting beliefs in keeping people stuck at the starting line.
  • How your view on failure shapes whether you fail at all.
  • And more!

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People reach out to me all of the time with various decisions that they are trying to make. It may be about changing jobs or whether to buy or sell a house or whether they should start an online business or pay down their debt versus investing. This episode is all about helping you get on stuck from that big decision you're facing right now, or will face in the future. Ready? Let's go.

This is the physician philosopher podcast. I'm Dr. Jimmy Turner and anesthesiologist online entrepreneur and creator of the alpha coaching experience. The physician philosopher podcast teaches you how to create the life you deserve one thought at a time, start before you're ready. Start by starting start now.

Hey everyone. Welcome to episode number 37 of the physician philosopher podcast, where we take an uncurated and unapologetic look into physician life, money and mindset. So today's thought, is this feeling stuck with a big decision?

Rarely has anything to do with knowing what to do. It has everything to do with the limiting beliefs that you tell yourself. So the tagline for the show is to start before you're ready. Start by starting start. Now, this is not a coincidence. Truthfully, the hardest thing people have a time with is often getting started on something it's taking the first step. And I know that it's funny. Whenever you write a Peloton person, TPP underscore MD, if you want to follow me, they always say, Hey, you've shown up. You've done the hardest part you've shown up. And it's because getting started, like getting that inertia, that momentum is hard. You know what I'm talking about on this? The roadblocks that we think are in the way to our goals. So our financial freedom bootcamp starts the day that this episode gets dropped, actually. And of course, I'm recording this in advance.

So that said, I'm going to do a little bit of my best Nostradamus here and predict the future. I can almost guarantee that on day one and day two of the bootcamp, we're going to have this Q and a coaching session at the end. And there's a possibility that people are going to want to get coached on various things like their cashflow or starting an online business that they're building. And my prediction is that they're going to be questioned about whether someone should pay down debt or invest, or whether they should start a business or whether they should buy a house or not like whatever the questions people bring. And they're going to make it sound like there's a problem between these two things. And they're trying to figure out what the right solution is, but the real problem isn't picking the right solution. The real problem is their limiting beliefs.

They just don't know it. It's fascinating how our brains work. So let's break down that term real quick, limiting beliefs. So we're all on the same page in terms of what I mean. So two words, limiting and belief. So limiting basically preventing you from accomplishing everything you can, or you want to accomplish. A belief is a thought that you've told yourself so many times that it feels like a fact unquestionably. Like it is just true. So limiting belief, if you combine those two ideas is a thought that you have told yourself so many times it seems like an immovable obstacle or an insurmountable obstacle preventing you from finding the success or making a decision that you're currently thinking through. And so in this episode, what we're going to do is dive into a few of the most common limiting beliefs that I see people have when it comes to creating, you know, the ideal life that they're looking for, or the freedom that they're looking for, or financial decisions or starting a business.

Like these three things, they run the gamut. It's just something that's a part of life. And I see it happen all the time in clients. And to be honest with you, there's a reason why coaches still have coaches themselves. I do these things sometimes do, and I work harder and harder at not doing them. And I catch myself pretty quickly now. But yeah. So number one, limiting belief starts with, I don't know how to, and you can follow that up with anything X, Y, or Z. I don't know how to start a coaching business. I don't know how to pay off my student loans. I don't know how to get rid of my imposter syndrome or my burnout. So anytime that you start a sentence with, I don't know, you are sapping yourself of your best resort, which is your brain. Like you've just started the fight and said, I give up, I don't know the answer.

I don't know how and your brain just says, okay, if you don't know how, I guess I can think about other things. So you're a physician for crying out loud. You can do hard things and learn hard things and put up with very difficult circumstances the entire time. And so just wrap your brain around this, right. Medicine is definitely harder than money. Medicine is definitely harder than creating an online business. Medicine is harder to learn than just about anything else, right? And it's a really hard thing to become a physician. These things that you tell yourself that you don't know are just foreign to you. They're not something that you've experienced before yet. What we tell ourselves is that not knowing what to do is the reason that we don't move forward. And that really has nothing to do with why you haven't made that big decision about paying down your debt or whether to start a business or a blog or podcast or whatever we're talking about.

How do I know that? Because we live in the information age, my friends. So literally anything that you could ever want to look up is on the internet. It's like a couple of taps away on your keyboard or on a smartphone, just type it into Google or being or YouTube. Someone's going to show you how to do whatever you're talking about. The internet can tell you how to do anything. So not knowing how to do something, not knowing I don't know is never the reason that you feel stuck. Now. It is the most common reason that people say that they're stuck. I don't know how to X, Y, or Z, but it is not actually true. It's a story that you're telling yourself. It is that you have not gotten clarity on what you want and why that's really what's making you feel stuck. It's not the nitty gritty details.

The how is that? You're not clear on your what, and you're not clear on your why. Once you answer those questions, which are much more important, what are you trying to accomplish? And why are you trying to accomplish it? The how I promise my friend will figure itself out. What are you trying to do? Who are you trying to help? Those are all infinitely more important questions then how you do it. In fact, this is one of the best ways to figure out the next step in anything is to figure out what you're trying to accomplish and then to do the research and figure out everything that needs to be done to get there. Now, most people get to the stage and you're like, Oh my gosh, there's 13 things that I have to do in order to accomplish that goal. And if you stop looking at them as obstacles, and you look at them as learning opportunities, each of these become a learning opportunity.

They are something that you're going to learn along the journey to doing whatever you're talking about, doing starting a business, learning about money, stopping your imposter syndrome, whatever. And each of these becomes an opportunity that makes them an opportunity to learn. But most people view them as an obstacle that prevents them from getting started. In other words, it makes them feel stuck. So if you'll just flip that script a little bit and view them as a learning opportunity, you'll realize that these are the very things that are going to help you accomplish your what and your why, but it does require you to stop saying, I don't know. And it starts saying I'm learning how to, it's a very different thing. So don't let that limiting belief of, I don't know, stop you from getting started. Start to flip the script on, okay. I am learning how to open a bank account, get an EIN form, an LLC.

I'm learning how to start a group program. I'm learning how to pay down my student loans. I'm learning how to find self-worth and know that I'm enough and that I'm worthy and that I'm not an imposter. I'm learning how to not place myself as being the victim of burnout or moral injury. And I'm taking back my power. We'll see. I don't know how to do any of those things. I'm learning how to. All right. That's number one. Number two is a powerful one. This one's really physician centric, actually just the way we tick the way we think, what if I get it wrong? That's number two. And I love this one. And in coaching with our clients, we make a distinction between questions and thoughts, because this isn't really a limiting belief, right? It's a question. So guess what every alpha client gets to do when they ask a question, like when I say, Oh, what I'm thinking is, and then they say a question.

They get to answer it. So I always say, that's a great question. What's the answer. What if you did get it wrong? What would happen? And they normally stop. And they're like, haven't thought about that. That's what I'm worried about. What are you worried about? Let's dive in. So the underlying belief usually has to do something with one of a couple of things, basically not wanting to fail or feeling the need to get it right. And this is really powerful in medicine because it implies that some things are right while other things are wrong. And doctors are definitely of the sort that get hit hard with this because many of us tend to be perfectionist. We don't like getting things wrong. So when we paint a decision this way, it seems like an impossible problem to solve. This is called an all or nothing thought fallacy or a thought distortion, all or nothing.

It is a bit like what we call splitting in psychology, right? Where one person or one group of people is either all good or all bad. And we see this all the time. Like I'm not going to mention political examples on this podcast because I don't want to get awesome raging emails about it. But this happens all the time in politics, all good or all bad, whichever side you're on. Obviously as the good guys, whichever side, you're not is obviously the bad guys. And there's no redeeming qualities about any of them. All good, all bad. So when we paint things this way, really when it comes to most life decisions, this limiting belief can absolutely paralyze you because you have this thought in your head that one of them is right. And one of them is wrong in terms of the decisions. Why? Because it turns out that it makes you feel like an investigator whose job is now to sniff out, which is right.

And which is wrong. It's like playing clue. Oh, if I only asked the right questions, I might be able to figure out who done it. It was Colonel mustard in the library with the candlestick. If I just asked the questions, I'll figure out who's wrong. And then I'll pick the other one. But let me ask you a question. What if both of those things were reasonable? What if you're thinking about buying or selling a house? And you're like, what if I get it wrong? What if they're both reasonable? What if neither is wrong? What if they're just both reasonable choices? What if you could choose to learn to deal with the worst case scenario, regardless of what you chose. If you can get to that place? My friends, it is a beautiful place to be. If you can accept the worst case scenario on either decision changing jobs, this is a common one.

So, you know, we had a client in alpha that was changing jobs and she was having a hard time making the decision. And we really started walking down the path and she said, I've been a partner here for 10 years. I'm not sure that if I leave, will I be able to come back? Will they let me be a partner again? If I go to this other job, what if I don't like it? And when we really got down to brass tacks, it turned out that she and her husband were financially independent. Now she was a doc, right? Thinking about making changes in her job. And she's telling herself what if? And it turned out that either way, it didn't really matter because she had other sources of income and was financially independent outside of medicine. But this story kept her trapped in a job that she didn't really like and stopped her from considering or even interviewing for other jobs.

So when we work through this over a couple of months, it really transformed the way that she thought through it because she got to the point where she could accept either worst-case scenario, regardless of what happened. So what if this limiting belief about things being right or wrong is holding you back? What if they could just both be right? Or you could accept the worst case scenario and either, and it's just a reasonable choice. That's the second limiting belief that really prevents people and paralyzes them. It makes them feel stuck when they're making a decision. So the third one is I need to have it all figured out before I start. There's a reason that the tagline for the podcast includes start before you're ready. And because most people have this idea that you need to have everything figured out before you're ready to be ready before you start.

And that's not really true. Think about it. Yes. There's. I can think of five examples off the top of my head. So when you were a baby and you're like, you know what? I've never walked before. I'm just not going to do it. Never done it. Don't know how I see other people do it, but I don't know how to do it. No, you got up and you tried and you fell and then you got up and he tried and you fell. It's an iterative process, right? Big life decisions work the same way you make decisions. You learn from them. You make more decisions. This is the same thing that I tell people about medical school or marriage or any other number of big life events where it's like you can prepare. And preparation is important. Don't get me wrong. Starting an online business, becoming an entrepreneur is one of the strongest examples.

Honestly, that I've experienced. You don't always have the answers and yet you can be successful if you learn how to work through the tripping and falling down, and then you get back up. So you don't really need to have all the answers you need to start before you're ready. You just need to get that momentum, going, get the inertia, get the ball rolling. And you have to get in there and get dirty and realize that you're going to trip and fall. But that is okay. Learn to flip the script on failure, right? So this is the reason that anytime I teach, whether that's in a podcast on a coaching call, an alpha coaching experience or in the bootcamp that goes live the night, the show drops. I've got a quote behind me when I teach that's, my sister gave me, so my sister is amazing and she knows, this is a really important quote to me.

And so as the quote from Teddy Roosevelt about the man in the arena, and this is the quote that daring greatly by Bernay Brown came from. And if you ever read that book, by the way, daring greatly by Bernie Brown, highly recommended will probably change your life. I'm a big fan of it, but this quote behind me, it's a constant reminder that it is not the critic on the sideline who counts, but it's the person in the arena. It's the man in the arena whose face may be marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly and heirs. They make mistakes who comes up short time and time again. Why would Teddy Roosevelt say that about tripping and errors and who comes up short time and time again? Because he knew that it wasn't about getting it right. The first time it was about getting started, getting in the arena, getting blood and sweat and dust on you while you put the work in it is time that we stopped standing on the sideline and get into the arena.

Because while it is easy to make comments from the sideline and trust me, people will, if you don't know that, go start an online business, by the way, trolls everywhere. That's why they have a saying in online business, don't feed the trolls. And I'll take a brief segue here to say that two things. And maybe I should do an entire podcast episode on this, but I've seen a couple of coaches post about this lately. So I want to throw this out there for any coaches that are listening. If someone says a comment to you on an ad or an episode or on something that you do, that is hateful, it is mean it is full of ire. Don't make that mean. Anything about you. So two quotes that I throw people in this situation. Number one is you can either be judged or you can be ignored.

The choice is up to you. I forget where I heard that from initially. So powerful though. If you haven't been judged yet, if someone hasn't thrown hate and venom and vitriol at you in the online space, you just aren't big enough yet. It's going to come. And when it comes, instead of looking at that as like the most terrible thing in the world that someone said awful things about you and trust me, I've had people say truly awful things about me. Instead, if you take that as a sign of success, I made it because the second quote that I love talking about, and this actually came from Dr. Haas, Aubrey, who's getting a couple of shout outs, a few podcasts in a row. She said, you know who doesn't have haters people that aren't successful. So if you got haters out there, don't worry about it.

Don't sweat it UBU. Don't worry about them. And that's what Teddy Roosevelt's getting at because it is time that we stopped standing on that sideline, right? Getting Irina. Because while it's easy to make comments from the sideline, like those people who make the hateful comments on line eight is much more rewarding and fulfilling to be in the arena. Because as Roosevelt said, at the best possible situation, we can know the triumph of high achievement. We could really succeed or at the worst, if we fail, why daring greatly, which is where Renee Brown's book comes from. And if we fail while daring greatly, that is still infinitely better than being among the cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat. How powerful is that? Get in the arena. Start before you're ready. So if these are the limiting beliefs, the question is begged. How do we defeat them?

What can we do to flip the script on these? And it all starts between your ears and talking it with somebody getting coached, figuring out what is going on in your head. What are the limiting beliefs you're telling yourself as Bobby Jones would say about golf, right? Competitive golf is played on a five and a half inch course. In other words, the space between your ears. And I'd say the same is true in life, right? Your brain and your thoughts determine how you play golf. They determine how you make decisions. They determine how stuck you are. They determine everything about you being able to start. And for those of you hung in there to this point in the episode, I've saved something special for you to help you start before you're ready, the best way for you to learn how to get started in your own journey.

Honestly, it's like the secret sauce of the catalyst. That's helped me in my own journey and it's coaching, right? And so there are pillars and frameworks. So if you're someone who feels like you're trapped and you want to find freedom, personal and financial freedom, the alpha coaching experience can help you get there. And for those who want to take a deeper dive and to figuring out how to do that, how to find that personal financial freedom, you need to practice medicine. However you want. The waitlist is actually going to open up until June 7th. So this is the first that I'm mentioning it. You can join that wait list by going to the physician, philosopher.com/waitlist or clicking the link in the show notes on the podcast. And we give an exclusive discount to people on the wait list. That's the only place in the world that you can get that discount will help you sort out those limiting beliefs and get you started into action.

Because once you realize that the only thing that is stopping you from starting is your beliefs. You can realize that all of these beliefs are an option that you can choose to see them differently. The story I like to tell about this, I think I heard it from Brandon Lucero. Actually, I'm going through his program right now, highly recommend it. And so he has this picture of a number on the ground. And one person walks up from one side and it looks like a six. Someone else walks up from this side and it looks like a nine. They argue about it because they're looking at the same number from a different perspective, from a different lens, from a different point of view or vantage point or narrative or story. However you want to say this, right? If you can realize that the only thing that is stopping you from starting is your perspective or your limiting beliefs, that five and a half inch court between your ears, that my friends is when everything can change.

So stop telling yourself that you're stuck because you don't know how to start to learn, to say, I'm learning how to, or that you might get it wrong because maybe both choices are reasonable or that you need to know all the details before you start, because you've practiced medicine and gone and gotten married, or learn how to walk without really knowing all the details you just do. You get in the arena. So stop being the cold and timid soul on the sideline and get in the arena. And you just might find that there are a lot of people in that arena who are also willing to help you. So today's thought, is this feeling stuck with a big decision, rarely has anything to do with knowing what to do and has everything to do with the limiting beliefs that you tell yourself. So until next time my friends start before you're ready. Start by starting start now. I'll see you next week.

Hi dad, Dr. Jimmy Turner is a physician first personal finance blogger. You know, I've coached for doc. However, he is not your physician or your life coach. He also isn't a financial advisor, financial planner or accountant. Anything discussed in this podcast is for general education and entertainment purposes. Health coaching is not a substitute for therapy, medicine, or medical treatment. However, if you are a doctor looking for a life coach, you can reach out to our, my [email protected]

 

 

TPP

 

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