As my wife and three kids rode the elevator at the public library down to the Swagger Wagon (a.k.a. our Toyota sienna), the alarm inside started blaring. Operator: “911. How can we help you?” Looking down, my wife realized that our 20 month old little girl, with a wry grin on her face, had pressed a red button at just the right height. My wife quickly told the operator that there was no emergency and that Little Miss TPP #2 had apparently pressed the emergency button.
Moments like this have a way of waking us up from our daily routine. The daily hustle we all perform everyday can make our mind numb.
We just start going through the motions.
I mean, how many times have you driven home on autopilot caught in your thoughts about that day? You get home, park the car, and think… man, I wasn’t really present that whole time.
As Americans, we have a hard time learning to live in the moment.
Sizzlin’ or Fizzlin’?
I’ve always been intentional about asking my wife if she is happy (not that I think that’s the purpose of marriage… also not the topic of this post).
Does she still love me? Am I doing a good job as a husband and as a dad? What can I be doing better?
There is probably not a week that goes by where my wife does not hear me ask her whether she still loves our life or not. It’s my way of trying to keep us grounded.
So, you can imagine my shock the other night when my wife asked me, “Do you think we are fizzlin’?” (read: fizzling)
It came out of no where.
I thought things had been going great.
We have three kids that we love and cherish (Except when the baby…you know the one who pressed the alarm in the story above… hits other kids. She’s a baby hitter. We don’t know how to stop it. Sigh). We both have jobs that we are passionate about.
We’ve always supported each other. We have always loved each other passionately.
The question, “Do you think we are fizzlin'” hit me like a ton of bricks.
The whole time, I thought we had been “sizzling.” (Those are opposites, by the way, that just happen to rhyme). What my wife’s question meant was that I hadn’t been paying enough attention to the most important person in my life, my bride.
That’s called a reality check. Or a call out.
I’ve had many of them in my life. Some worse than others.
A Call Out
So, here’s a call out to all you readers out there.
If you have someone you love (wife/husband/kids/mom/dad/whoever), check in on them. Make sure you ask them about their day.
More importantly, make sure you listen. Help them to feel loved. Ask them how you might best achieve making them feel loved. Be intentional.
Life is too short and passes us by too quickly not to be intentional. Even more, live in the moment.
If you are blessed to have someone or something in your life, then take a minute to appreciate it. Make mention of it. Tell your friends about it.
Getting your financial life in order is key to your wellness in both marriage and life.
I hope this site gives you some tools to help you get there. But, more importantly, I hope that this website reminds you of why you are trying to get there and in the first place.
I also hope it reminds you to live in the moment. Take a second to smell the roses. Hug those around you that you love and tell them you love them.
After all, you can obtain all the riches in the world, but if you have not love…
Have you had any wake up calls recently? Have you checked to make sure you are sizzlin’ and not fizzlin’? How do you make sure you live in the moment instead of getting caught up in the daily grind? Leave a comment below.
In the end it’s not about jobs or even money. It’s about people. Well said.
Thanks, Doc G.
Got a keep the priorities straight.
I would say don’t worry about Fizzlin’. Can’t always be Sizzlin’. Most of the time my wife and I are just Simmerin’.
Haha… Is that better or worse then sauteeing?
Hmmm… I’d say I’m sometimes sizzling, but sometimes simmering like Millionaire Doc. Then there’s times I’m bubbling over 😉
Bubbling over sounds good! Just remember those moments when the glass is a little empty.
TPP I read your state of the blog post, and considered the juxtaposition to this post.
I wrote a not for profit blog for about 10 years that didn’t allowing comments and it required considerable input of time and planning. If I had allowed comments the head work would have gone up exponentially. My point is I understand about blogging and the spin up involved. Have you considered your occupation with this endeavor’s effect in your family’s life? No judgement, just a question worth your consideration.
Great question, Gasem. I appreciate you asking it actually.
There have certainly been times where I needed to stop working on my site to hang out with my wife. I try to only work on it when my kids are sleeping (nap time, after they go to bed, when they are at school).
It has largely replaced any TV watching that I used to do.
That said, I have to be intentional about hanging out with my wife. She understands the purpose of the blog, the need for me to get out of my head to write on it, and supports me in it.
I think we have a pretty good balance, but it does take a lot of work.